kenneth just sent me a txt that his house closed today and he is picking up the keys some time before 5pm. isn't that just so exciting?!??! i am ever so happy for him. it was supposed to close monday and he's been stressed all week about it and finally, it's doneskies. kenneth is a homeowner. woot. woot.
D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn’t know what the hell to say. If you want to know the truth, I don’t know what I think about it. I’m sorry I told so many people about it. About all I know is, I sort of miss everybody I told about. Even old Stradlater and Ackley, for instance. I think I even miss that goddam Maurice. It’s funny. Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. —The Catcher in the Rye
I don’t just feel like Salinger died, I feel like Holden did. And I guess I am one of those silly, predictable girls who is tremendously sad at that. I feel protective, apologetic for this book. Still so defensive of its merit and voice in the face of today’s snobbish jaded intellectual brutes.
But mostly, I just loved it like a friend. And what more could any writer ask? RIP, Salinger.
Yes, I, too loved Catcher in the Rye like a friend. I love Nine Stories and Franny and Zooey in this same capacity and it is very sad that Salinger passed. Loving books as friends, I never thought of my emotions for books in that way, but it is so spot on.
If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? Nobody. —J. D. Salinger
I know I am a late kind of person, but some people are late people and some people are early people (Sam) and some people are right on time. Maybe when I move to Japan I will condition myself to be on time aka early.
The following nameless friend—I am protecting identities due to incriminating quotes below—and I had the most awesome conversations today.
Email at our respective offices
Me: You should introduce that fool to your backhand. Friend: Btw, introducing that fool to my backhand is a new personal favorite quote of yours. Hahahaha.
Friend: Now he says he’s going to the gym. Me: "Gym" is code for jack off to your Facebook pictures [totally appropriate comment because he totally admitted to those acts andddd he told you which ones were his go-to photos] Friend: OMG. Died laughing.
Night time AIM
Me: -__________- unamused face is unamused Friend: hahahahahahhaha Me: Tell him “unamused face is unamused by your audacity and idiocy” Friend: he will not understand unamused face
Super late night txting
Friend: Dude. I just stood in the shower for a minute because I couldn’t remember which way to turn the knob to turn it off. I was scared it was going to be super hot. I love being high. hahahahahah Me: Does that mean you’re naked and txting me right now? Friend: Now, yes. Bahahaha.
Just played a practical joke on Dar because I’ve been waiting for her to get out of her wretched late night Wednesday class with crazy hippie professor.
Dar (txt): What should I eat? Me: Hmmmm PENIS! Dar: Unamused face is unamused.
This is when I had a supremely awesome idea! Darlene is easily irritated when she is hungries so I told our friends on AIM and FB that I’m chatting with to txt her: EAT A PENIS! and they (Michelle, Aida and Sarah) did and it was awesome!
Dar txted Michelle back: I’m tired of penis. I had it for breakfast.
Aida: I said to eat black cock. It tastes good.
Dar txted me: Bitch. I’m driving!
That was fun; it was actually way too much fun. I might have woken the children with my uproarious laughter.
This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are. It’s the right thing to do. —President Barack Obama, SOTU address
I will be ecstatically proud to be an American when this happens.
…liberty and justice for all.
Keywords: FOR ALL.
And he needs to tackle permitting gay/lesbian marriages because this injustice is an absolute travesty and it infuriates me.
My Texas Baseball Horns are the #1 Baseball America Preseson Pick and they damn well should be. First Texas Baseball game is Friday, February 19th and you bet your fking ass I will be there. I can hardly contain the excitement. Bring on spring! Bring on Texas Baseball! MAYNEFUCK, I AM TOO FKING EXCITEDDD.
Me: any word from your prospective jobs? Ben: got a call at home yesterday from one but it wasn’t one i really wanted i’m going to call them back but i would def leave it if one of the others came through Me: what is it? Ben: on/off shore thing not really engineering Me: one of my friends did the on/off shore thing he was an ME in aberdeen with schlumberger and it was insane and he definitely banked Ben: who knows i’m going to call them not what i want to do at all… BUT Me:coooooolllll Ben: it’s something money Me: yeah, ben it’s something and you can stop being a fking scrub
Ben: but i would leave in an instant for something i deserve and it’s not an engineering job and i’ll be making less money than people around me that i’m smarter than i would bail on the company i won’t tell them that obvi
Me: obvy Ben: i ono i need something to do Me: yeah, you keep saying that so you better do something soon before you drive me bonkers and you know, i think you’re brilliant and capable but people dont know that about you ben and they sure as hell don’t know what you think you deserve Ben: i knowww Me: you’ll be okay and i suggest you take what you can get Ben: thanks for you suggestion lol Me: well whatever else youre doing isnt working Ben: i’m waiting lol and yes it isn’t Me: so dont get snippy with me, mister
This is completely ridiculous. Ben is my friend, yes, but today, he really pushed my buttons with his whole white boy entitlement crap anddd that sucker has not had a job in his life SAVE caddying on a fking golf course for summer or two. He’s been fking graduated since May of 2008; let me repeat that, he has been GRADUATED SINCE MAY OF 2008 (two thousand and eight) anddd he sometimes (once or twice, maybe three times a MONTH) substitute teaches and volunteers at the food bank. I’m not trying to give him a hard time, but wtfffffffff is he talking about?!??!!
In this economy and in this day and age… I mean, I have just resolved that he’s completely delusional and there is nothing I can say to wake him up so he’ll have to just keep waiting and watch his life and opportunities fly right on by because he is too arrogant and egotistical and narcissistic to take what he can get and do what has to be done. His daily whining about being bored and unemployed is really starting to annoy the hell out of me and that takes a lot.
Despite all of that, I still want him to have every little thing he wants.
Faxes from the Future was the best prank of alllllllllll time. OF. ALL. TIME.
But it was just a smidge better than the nickels in and out of Dwight’s phone… and tricking Dwight into believing it was Friday when it was really Thursday which subsequently made him late for the first time ever the day after reviews… anddd wrapping up Dwight’s “desk” and “personal effects” in Christmas paper when it was actually just wrapped air in the shape of said things. OMG, I love Jim.
I hadn’t even heard about this before this morning, but now it’s everywhere. Maybe I just didn’t see it, like when you buy a purple car thinking it’s unique and then you see nothing but purple cars. There is a psych term for it and I forget. No matter. Look, the background - Tim Tebow is going to appear with his mother for a Focus on the Family commercial. The commercial is being described as anti-abortion, a stance that falls squarely in like with Tebow’s and FoF’s beliefs. For Tebow, this is a particularly personal issue: when his mother was pregnant, she became very sick and the doctor suggested she get an abortion. She ignored the doctor and wham-bam, Tebow was born.
But here’s where I take issue:
First, on the topic of abortion. Mrs. Tebow was given the option, in a life or death situation where her life and her future child’s life was on the line, to use her best judgment when it comes to terminating her pregnancy. She chose not to, and is now wanting to influence all women to make her same choice. That’s fucked up. Further more, she is advocating that women everywhere, for whatever reason, make her choice, regardless of what brought them to that cross-roads. I am fervently pro-choice, and I do not accept that a reasonable person can actively campaign for a ban on all abortions. What Mrs. Tebow and her son, in conjunction with that hateful “Focus on the Family” organization is putting in danger every single woman’s right to chose. The thing I hate most about Fundemental Christianity is the infantalization of women and the removal of their agency under the guise of “piety” and “righteousness”.
OK, that’s out of the way enough. Now the less political reasons for why this ad is stupid:
1. No one really likes Tebow outside of the Gator-faithful. He’s too good, too pious, and just too easy to hate. I’m not sure him preaching to the nation will be particularly effective. True, it is bringing a lot of attention to the ad, but I’m not sure it’s as positive as intended.
2. This is the fucking Super Bowl! I do not want political ads. I do not want to think about basically anything more than who is winning and how. I want to eat nachos, drink beer, make tasteless jokes about the idiotic commercials and holler a lot. I want my commercials full of anthropomorphized animals. The Super Bowl is fun. It is an American Tradition. It is not the appropriate venue to engage in one-sided political “discourse”.
So fuck you, Focus on the Family. Fuck you, Tim Tebow, and Fuck you CBS if you allow this bullshit to continue.
Agreed; and particularly agree with all that is bolded.
STFU and watch the goddamn Super Bowl. This is completely inappropriate, biased and afkingnnoying. I already had my own rant so time to go on my merry little way. [Buuuuuut omg, am I ever annoyed by the Tebow family. GAWWWD.]
oh my fking god, westlake moms--can y'all stop being fking assholes in the morning?!?!? i was chillin' in the turn lane and it was YOUUUU who cut me off and sat in the middle of the fking intersection anddd then youuuuu had the audacity to SHAKE YOUR FINGER AT ME AND MOUTH "WAIT" wtffffffffffffff is wrong with you?!?!? it's like seven forty-five eh fking emmm!!!!! i am not one of your children. do. not. do. that. ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu. rage.
okay, nowww i’m over it. shower, breakfast, work… omg, it’s totally like being a mom. SO WEIRD. weird weird weird weird weird weird. weirddddddddd.
My boss just got out of a mtg and is picking me up lunch from Peony’s—which has gotten mixed reviews, but nevertheless, I am exciteddd for a free lunch—especially since I left my lunch in my Element that is at the shop being serviced.
I ordered their Unajyu lunch special which is baked eel on white rice with miso and salad. OMFGZeeee, I love eel.
Darlene, I can’t wait to move to Japan and eat bento boxed lunches everyday! (Note to self: apply to the six or so programs we’ve narrowed down STAT.)
Me: im taking a nyquil and going to sleep Me: i have work in the morning Joey: night Me: goodnight joey Me: thanks for musing with me in the late night Joey: no prob Me: about my idiocy Me: and other issues Joey: idiocy? more like the flaw of a tragic hero Joey: they all have one Me: me, a tragic hero? Me: doubtful Me: i have too many flaws to be a hero Joey: lol Joey: night lina Joey: you have work in the am Me: hahaha Me: goodnight
Right you are, my friend, right; you are. I am tragic, but not of heroic variety.
another late night musing and conclusion: i dearly love to sleep. i could sleep for days, no contest; but oh my god i can be such an insomniac, sometimes and it doesn't make any sense whatsoever. tonight; every other night this week when i wasn't intoxicated--being wasted totally makes you sleepy; christmas week when i spent days scrapbooking and present/card making. it's incomprehensible and annoyingly perplexing; but maybe i just love naps and sleeping in. being scared of the dark anddd being scared of being alone, innn the dark, probably encourages my insomnia, too. what to do. what to do?!?!?!
today, i realized that you can never have too much opi pink nail polish. i am rather thrilled about adding the super glittery, ultra pinky, adorable and rad and glam "and this little piggy" color to my ever growing collection on display in the bathroom--now that this is a bachelorette's apartment! nothing is more girly and fabulous than a clusterfuckton of pink nail polish.
“I have these tiny hands.” — Creepy BK commercial.
Yeah, dude. BK King is creepy. Fella with tiny hands is also super creepy. WTF BK?!?! Stop with the creepy commercials.
And yeah, that Charger commercial is super weak. I do not need to see it again.
OMG don’t even get me started on the anti-abortion/pro-life commercial STARRING TIM TEBOW coming to your TV sets come February. YES, YESSS believe this: Tim Tebow will have an anti-abortion commercial during the FKING SUPER BOWL. Completely inappropriate. It’s the Super Bowl. I totally get it’s an amazing platform to advocate your social issue, but you’re only human, Tim. You’re not the second coming of Christ, although some people might disagree with reality on that one. Andddddddd just because your mom had faith and wanted to give birth to you despite complications and doctor’s advice, it does not mean anything, except that you are here to annoy the shit out of me. WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE especially considering the obvious DEVOUT CHRISTIAN slant this commercial will no doubt have andddd it is wrong and fucked up to advocate that every woman make the same choice your mom made, dude. Be happy you’re here, but she made a CHOICE so stop this nonsense and let every woman maker her own choices based on what is going on in her life. Not everyone is your fking mom. OMG I am appalled. Start a foundation or a fking scholarship. Do not interrupt the Super Bowl with more of your crocodile tears. I am SO over you.
Geez, creepy BK commercial totally inspired a huge rant. Sorry bout that. More in February.
Yes, Precious, the glorious sun is back in all its stunning beauty and spring shall be upon us soon. Bid your cold, cold winter farewell and welcome a warm, baseball-filled, allergy ridden spring with open arms and a smile! Oh, happy day!
my aim status read it’s no secret/i’m afraid to be alone/i need you and carlos imed me and said "your status messages are scary sometimes" which made me a little mad and then a little sad—that kind of sad that is mostly pity.
hey! i know who i am. i know how i feel about things. and i’m not ashamed or afraid to own up to any of it. what a punk ass. carlos is so judgmental when it comes to anything of the emotional or romantic variety. regardless of his own personal insecurities, i do not appreciate being called scary because of my (a) distaste of being alone, (b) recognition that i “need” “someone” and (c) the fact that it is no secret to those who know me. it is what it fking is.
in truth, i am not really “afraid” of being alone. i just hate it so i choose to spend my time and life with people in both romantic and platonic relationships. there is nothing wrong or abnormal about not wanting to be alone and there is definitely no shame in needing someone. i am pretty self sufficient, but i definitely need the people in my life.
oh and another thing, this musical reference was mostly ambiguous, anyways. i don’t know who or what i need right now.
been on repeat for endless hours at a time this week and i’m not even close to letting it go. i miss the starting line. and i miss their ep i was desperately in love with at seventeen. where the eff did that fking cd disappear to?!?!?! need replacement. stat.
Random One: I’m leaving at 430pm. It is way too nice of an Austin afternoon. I cannot deny myself sunshine any longer. My Buddy and I are going on a mfn walk as soon as I get home.
Random Two: Earlier this afternoon, I applied for a graphic design internship with a publishing company here in Austin. I would really love to gain some more experience as a graphic designer in a more structured setting aka non freelance work aka more legit work. Keep your fingers crossed for me. It’s actually perfect because I’ll be working with the art department on collateral (including BOOK JACKETS) and other cool stuff and things anddd it’s only 12-15 hours a week which means I can keep my day job as the kickass accountant anddd it pays, even if it’s only $8/hr, at least that’s something. I am pretty fking stoked. Ahhhhhhhh. I haven’t applied for a job since August and I just remembered how dreadful and painful cover letters are. BARF; the bane of my existence.
Random Three: This weekend is going to be insane. I thought I would go up and visit Kenneth—if he would ever ask me—but I really can’t, after all.
Tonight: Nick’s birthday at the Belmont Friday: Bobby’s going away shenannigans DT with alllllllllll the Asians Saturday: (part one) hanging out with Anna as much as possible bc she is in town and (part two) celebrating another Nick’s birthday—Jenna’s friend—DT
Not to mention all the football anddd the Texas Basketball game at UConn. WTFFF how am I already so busy!?!??!?!
Dar: There is a cute lacrosse player on crutches on the bus. Me: OOoOOo. We should go watch Tyler play sometime and scope out all the cute underaged boys I can’t date. Dar: LOL hahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahahaha
So much truth. I are old.
Let me rephrase that, I am too old to be macking on no doubt, young collegiate athletes my 21 year old friend is friends with. This is across the board with Dar and Jenna’s friends since they are both awesomely 21. It’s amazing how the two of them are probably the most intelligent, mature women I know and they are three years younger than me and eons less childish than admittedly dysfunctional self.
Zach: hey dear. how are u? Me: happy, it’s a gorgeous day! Zach: and u look lovely as ever! Me: oh whatever, you can’t even see me! Zach: I don’t have to see u to know that. Me: ZACH! you’re so silly; you’re making me blush. Zach: good. I was once told that if you know a woman who is beautiful, then let her know! that she is beautiful!
This is so sweet. I wish more boys were like this. I wish more people were like this.
I tell allll my friends who I find beautiful (souls; inside and out) that I believe them to be such angelic beings. It is true; I am a shameless flatterer and completely genuine with my compliments—which is seemingly doubtful, but I assure you, it is the truth. Though they are derived mostly from previous study (sidenote: Sir Colins of Pride and Prejudice may be the one only exceeding my talents of assembling better homages to his subjects—this reference is for Darlene) and incessant romanticizing and musing, they are hardly tactful or delicate. I suppose I shower people with my love and affections quite forcibly and without reservation more similar to a thunderstorm or monsoon rather than a delightful spring shower. I guess you could my feelings for those I admire rather brutal and unabashed, but what is love if it is not rapturous and unadulterated?
If you cannot yet tell, I am in a most wonderful mood. The beautiful sunshiney Austin, Texas day and my amazing friends are to blame; they inspire me to be embarrassingly wordy and hopelessly romantic. Today, I am full of love. Go ahead, you can vomit in your mouth a little. I’m sure that warranted an innate upchuck reflex.