- Aida: AHHHH I'M SOO BEHIND IN SHCHOOOOL WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS TO MYSELF.
- Me: good things it's friday
- Aida: TGIF i know.
- Me: dude, i know. i am so happy it's friday.
- Aida: i just found out what TGIF meant 3 weeks ago. hahahahahaha. i was like oh thats what dar and lina mean when they put that on tumblr. ohhhh--and that would explain Friday's the restaurant. TGIF.
- Me: omg you are so hilariously fobby!
D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn’t know what the hell to say. If you want to know the truth, I don’t know what I think about it. I’m sorry I told so many people about it. About all I know is, I sort of miss everybody I told about. Even old Stradlater and Ackley, for instance. I think I even miss that goddam Maurice. It’s funny. Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. —The Catcher in the Rye
I don’t just feel like Salinger died, I feel like Holden did. And I guess I am one of those silly, predictable girls who is tremendously sad at that. I feel protective, apologetic for this book. Still so defensive of its merit and voice in the face of today’s snobbish jaded intellectual brutes.
But mostly, I just loved it like a friend. And what more could any writer ask? RIP, Salinger.
Yes, I, too loved Catcher in the Rye like a friend. I love Nine Stories and Franny and Zooey in this same capacity and it is very sad that Salinger passed. Loving books as friends, I never thought of my emotions for books in that way, but it is so spot on.
Though I realize there are underlying reasons behind my current, deeply emotional state, I just exploded into more spontaneous tears because I JUST found out that Salinger died yesterday.
I was talking to Joey about conversations you have with people and how I don’t want to talk to certain people anymore because it makes me miss them and I immediately thought about Catcher in the Rye:
Don’t ever tell anyone anything. If you do, you’ll start missing everyone.
And then I refreshed Tumblr and read that he passed.
So much sadness.
If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she’s late? Nobody. —J. D. Salinger
I know I am a late kind of person, but some people are late people and some people are early people (Sam) and some people are right on time. Maybe when I move to Japan I will condition myself to be on time aka early.
The following nameless friend—I am protecting identities due to incriminating quotes below—and I had the most awesome conversations today.
Email at our respective offices
Me: You should introduce that fool to your backhand.
Friend: Btw, introducing that fool to my backhand is a new personal favorite quote of yours. Hahahaha.
Friend: Now he says he’s going to the gym.
Me: “Gym” is code for jack off to your Facebook pictures [totally appropriate comment because he totally admitted to those acts andddd he told you which ones were his go-to photos]
Friend: OMG. Died laughing.
Night time AIM
Me: -__________- unamused face is unamused
Me: Tell him “unamused face is unamused by your audacity and idiocy”
Friend: he will not understand unamused face
Super late night txting
Friend: Dude. I just stood in the shower for a minute because I couldn’t remember which way to turn the knob to turn it off. I was scared it was going to be super hot. I love being high. hahahahahah
Me: Does that mean you’re naked and txting me right now?
Friend: Now, yes. Bahahaha.
No one has better friends than me.
- Dar: Wtffffffff!?!? A pimple just formed above my lip in the past 15 minutes. FFFFFUUUUU
- Me: hahahaha one just appeared on my forehead.
- Dar: I can feel it throbbing. Fucking bastard zit.
- Me: Ewww. Oh my god! Maybe it's a HERPPPP!
- Dar: Duh, you're the one who gave it to me.
- Me: Ok. Line. Has. Been. Crossed. Conversation aborted.
- Dar: LOLROLFMAOHAHAHAHAHAHA yup
- Me: Are you bored? That is a lot of all caps acronyms.
- Dar: YES I'm bored. Why else would I text you???
Just played a practical joke on Dar because I’ve been waiting for her to get out of her wretched late night Wednesday class with crazy hippie professor.
Dar (txt): What should I eat?
Me: Hmmmm PENIS!
Dar: Unamused face is unamused.
This is when I had a supremely awesome idea! Darlene is easily irritated when she is hungries so I told our friends on AIM and FB that I’m chatting with to txt her: EAT A PENIS! and they (Michelle, Aida and Sarah) did and it was awesome!
Dar txted Michelle back: I’m tired of penis. I had it for breakfast.
Aida: I said to eat black cock. It tastes good.
Dar txted me: Bitch. I’m driving!
That was fun; it was actually way too much fun. I might have woken the children with my uproarious laughter.
This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are. It’s the right thing to do. —President Barack Obama, SOTU address
I will be ecstatically proud to be an American when this happens.
…liberty and justice for all.
Keywords: FOR ALL.
And he needs to tackle permitting gay/lesbian marriages because this injustice is an absolute travesty and it infuriates me.
My Texas Baseball Horns are the #1 Baseball America Preseson Pick and they damn well should be. First Texas Baseball game is Friday, February 19th and you bet your fking ass I will be there. I can hardly contain the excitement. Bring on spring! Bring on Texas Baseball! MAYNEFUCK, I AM TOO FKING EXCITEDDD.
I need to calm down; it’s still January.
totally make me feel like
and I am unashamed.
Me: any word from your prospective jobs?
Ben: got a call at home yesterday from one
but it wasn’t one i really wanted
i’m going to call them back
but i would def leave it if one of the others came through
Me: what is it?
Ben: on/off shore thing
not really engineering
Me: one of my friends did the on/off shore thing
he was an ME in aberdeen with schlumberger and it was insane
and he definitely banked
Ben: who knows
i’m going to call them
not what i want to do at all…
Ben: it’s something
Me: yeah, ben
and you can stop being a fking scrub
Ben: but i would leave in an instant
for something i deserve
and it’s not an engineering job
and i’ll be making less money than people around me that i’m smarter than
i would bail on the company
i won’t tell them that obvi
Ben: i ono
i need something to do
Me: yeah, you keep saying that
so you better do something soon
before you drive me bonkers
and you know, i think you’re brilliant and capable
but people dont know that about you ben
and they sure as hell don’t know what you think you deserve
Ben: i knowww
Me: you’ll be okay
and i suggest you take what you can get
Ben: thanks for you suggestion
Me: well whatever else youre doing isnt working
Ben: i’m waiting
Me: so dont get snippy with me, mister
This is completely ridiculous. Ben is my friend, yes, but today, he really pushed my buttons with his whole white boy entitlement crap anddd that sucker has not had a job in his life SAVE caddying on a fking golf course for summer or two. He’s been fking graduated since May of 2008; let me repeat that, he has been GRADUATED SINCE MAY OF 2008 (two thousand and eight) anddd he sometimes (once or twice, maybe three times a MONTH) substitute teaches and volunteers at the food bank. I’m not trying to give him a hard time, but wtfffffffff is he talking about?!??!!
In this economy and in this day and age… I mean, I have just resolved that he’s completely delusional and there is nothing I can say to wake him up so he’ll have to just keep waiting and watch his life and opportunities fly right on by because he is too arrogant and egotistical and narcissistic to take what he can get and do what has to be done. His daily whining about being bored and unemployed is really starting to annoy the hell out of me and that takes a lot.
Despite all of that, I still want him to have every little thing he wants.
I want to give everyone everything.
Faxes from the Future was the best prank of alllllllllll time. OF. ALL. TIME.
But it was just a smidge better than the nickels in and out of Dwight’s phone… and tricking Dwight into believing it was Friday when it was really Thursday which subsequently made him late for the first time ever the day after reviews… anddd wrapping up Dwight’s “desk” and “personal effects” in Christmas paper when it was actually just wrapped air in the shape of said things. OMG, I love Jim.