She says live up to your first impression, Well my best side was your worst invention. One-Eighty by Summer by Taking Back Sunday
Yeah, I did say that. And yes, your best side WAS my worst invention.
I hate when you see potential in someone and they just completely disregard it and constantly disappoint you, and worse, they lead you on to believe that they can change, that they can live up to all the hype and hope, and then they let you down at the most inopportune time, when you are already invested and care and love them. Fucking bastards.
[Sorry for the redic runon sentence. It’s Monday. And besides, I like runons; when employed correctly and written eloquently, they are actually, quite poetic.]
What’s funny is that I still listen to music of my disagreeable youth, that time in my life I dated loser, after loser, after loser and the sames songs I listened to then that I related our mishapped relationships with, still resonate today. I listen to them and laugh most of the time, like this morning. I turn it way way way up and scream the lyrics [easy and fun to do when listening to some angsted TBS] and try to consciously conjure up those feelings of frustration and anger for the sheer pleasure of releasing it into the air as I’m driving. It’s so refreshing actually. To feel the intensity of those feelings but not actually feel them. It’s super liberating and down right wonderful. It’s totally weird and shameful and girly, but I love it.
So here’s to you, all the losers I dated, thanks for making my life in the future poetic and badass. I am totally having fun on your account, sucker.
[PS. I srsly thank my lucky stars everyday that my boyfriend right now is so [so so so so so so so so so so so so] much better than all the guys I ever dated combined. I’m not even exaggerating. If fighting about how a pen works is the biggest of our troubles, I am quite contented, and besides, every relationship needs a meaningless fight every now and again to keep things interesting and fresh.]
You forget small tasks and details discussed on Friday for Monday
And when I say you I definitely mean ME.
BUT I get to leave at 2pm today to pick up my community college transcript and take to my big, badass University to apply for graduation. And yes, today is the last day to apply for graduation. I’m a procrastinator like that.]
While waiting for dinner, the boyfriend and I sat on the couch, watching T.V. He watches really dumb reality shows that have obviously NO MEANING WHATSOEVER behind them. I would rather spend my time watching the History or Science channel, or even anything that has even SLIGHTLY more significance.
So the commercial comes on for Lifestyles Skyn condoms. I’ve never seen it before. The commercial is basically a literal portrayal of soft-core pornography: Naked couples in the heated moment extreme arousal. I swore I saw a fully naked girl in that brief clip (of course, “important” parts were hidden).
I am highly offended.
Shocked, I turn to my boyfriend. “Oh my God, did you just see that commercial?”
“What the fuck is America coming to these days? I don’t want my kid fucking at the age of four.”
“What, does this not bother you?”
The conversation was dropped. To make matters worse, the program returns to the dumb bullshit America considers a T.V. show, and it’s a reality show, showing a girl posing for a camera in lingerie, with a blurred boob out.
So here is my fucking rant.
Not that I’ve been absent from the world for the past couple of years—I understand sex is becoming quite the norm in today’s society. Yes, granted. It’s the indecency and vulgarity that is shown in the media regarding sex that bothers me. Like previously stated, I wouldn’t want to raise my child in a society that values the pleasure of intimacy in the most improper way. And America is making it so much that it is inevitably going to happen.
What are we to do about this? Are we supposed to be talking to our daughters about birth control at the middle-school age for safety, because it is inevitable that she will start having sex then? At the age of 21, my parents still have not spoken to me about sex, and I can name many other friends who haven’t had the awkward sex talk with their parents. This is because sex is a taboo topic to talk about, and with the promotion of sex in the media, it is becoming socially acceptable for younger and younger people to fuck. Learned helplessness? I think so. I don’t know what the fuck can be done cause if you speak out against this, you seem like a sheltered nun to society.
Granted, I understand that it was a condom commercial of all things, and that we were watching MTV (trash). Condoms = sex, I get that, but why don’t different forms of birth control advertise their shit the same way? Because it’s the decent thing to do.
And people wonder why younger kids can’t keep their legs closed. DUH, YOU SHITBAGS, CAUSE THEY IMITATE WHAT THEY SEE. So when your kid gets fucking knocked up, blame society. Blame the media, blame government’s regulation of these obscene acts. Blame yourself too.
Before watching the commercial, a show was on about a guy that is addicted to porn. After watching this commercial, GEE, I WONDER, I WONDER JUST WHY HE IS ADDICTED TO PORN. With all the sexual connotations, hell, why isn’t everyone addicted to porn. We are making it easier for people to develop these habits. Even divorce is becoming more common due to the sensuality and desire of fantasy figures.
It’s not the commercial. It’s everything that’s been happening in my life recently. Everything that I have been noticing as an young adult, growing up in a society that is so fucked up. And it’s just going to get worse.
What sucks is, I feel alone in writing about this. I know people reading this are like “Dude, Sarah’s such a prude, she should just suck it up.” Well, you know what, I HOPE I get used to this. Either that, or I move out of the country to somewhere more conservative. I do not live the life of a holy person, a priest, or a nun, or anything. I JUST HAVE VALUES.
I remember back in the day when Herbal Essence commercials used to be scandalous just because it would show a woman’s head in the shower, screaming “Yes, YES, YES!” as she showered. Little did they know people would be fucking in the thirty seconds of a commercial. For the record, Victoria’s Secret commercials are okay. Commercials showing the alluring figure of the female body are okay. People fucking on T.V. that potential children of mine have access to? Not okay.
So, all in all, I am purely at utterly disgusted with what America has become.
I just want to find someone that shares these values with me.
“The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout ‘Save Us!’… and I’ll look down, and whisper, ‘No.’”
- The Watchmen
Preface: Anyone who knows me knows that I can’t handle even the smallest ounce of crudeness. Sex jokes and insinuations make me blush and throw a fit, usually resulting in me putting my hands over my ears and saying, “blah blah blah I’m not listening I’m not listening,” repeatedly while others continue their conversation. That being said, many people would label me as prudent and conservative, which I completely am, but I think I’m pretty sensible in regards to these things as well.
In regards to Saradactyl’s rant here about immorality and indecency and sex in the media, I have to say I do agree with her. Being in the industry [advertising] at fault for demoralizing and desensitizing society to sex has made me all too aware of its pervasive presence in media. Personally, I hate it.
I can understand using “beautiful” people in ads to sell your products, and yes, I also understand how damaging this can be to a human psyche, being shown constantly and consistently what is a beautiful man and woman ideally look like; but soft core porn in media drives me absolutely bonkers, and makes me feel terribly uncomfortable.
It is funny that Sarah quoted Watchmen as that was the latest movie I saw that exalted both sex and violence. [The violence in media, especially in the ever accessible TV avenue is plain redic and infuriating, but that rant, I will have to save for another day.] The sex scene in Watchmen was entirely way too long and drawn out and indecently graphic. [I mean, how the hell was she naked and still wearing knee high, hugging boots?!?! Come on.] This is coming from a girl though, that gets awkward even during make-out scenes that last too long. I just was not ready, nor will I ever be ready, for a scene of that magnitude. I didn’t see any junk, but I definitely saw enough to make me wish it was over. I suppose that is what all of geekdom wanted though, given that many of them are men who would, I assume, remain unopposed to a hot piece naked with only boots on having sex in a flying contraption in two positions for a extended length of time. I could’ve done without that scene. [The music for the scene was also just over the top. Srsly, boys. You act as if you’ve never had sex before. It was almost pathetic and embarrassing for the male geeks how much they truly enjoyed this and appreciated this scene. It was like their wildest fantasies come to life and I just felt sorry for every sucker in there that wanted or needed that kind of fantasy or stimulation.]
That’s just a movie. I suppose there is a little more control over a movie, as in you can choose to watch it or not, but in my defense, even though the movie was rated R, I was not expected that intense, redic sex scene.
Okay, TV. Television has gotten redic. Completely, absurdly, what the fuck is going on, redic. Sometimes I see movie trailers for horror movies that scare the shit out me and that comes out of nowhere, completely unexpected and you have little to no time to react to it. There are flashes of gore and piercing, indecent sounds and then it’s over and you’re left thinking, “what the fuckkk?!?!? I DID NOT WANT TO WATCH THAT.”
Horror movie trailers aside, let’s talk about sex. I don’t even know what to say, actually. The soft core porn that goes on during a TV show or commercial really gets me going. Anytime I see an instance of it happening I cringe in disgust. I immediately think of all the people who may be watching this and feel sorry for children and young people that they are exposed to such indecencies. Whatever happened to purity and innocence? To letting kids grow up naturally? I think it’s irresponsible. Adults in the world, that control this, that let this happen are unethical and taking no social responsibility for what they put into the world and in front of the eyes of people.
It is just like the unhappy situation we have now in society in regards to unhealthy weight and eating issues and poor self esteem and distorted sense of the human body. Research has proved time and time again that the images in the media, of skinny, vulnerable girls and masculine, Herculean men are screwing with the perception normal people have of what is beautiful and acceptable, and I think that is a huge problem we have in society. This sex in media issue will escalate more if it left unchallenged by those in the industry and in society. I hope that I will be one of those people that will not yield when it comes to putting out a sensible, responsible message when it comes time for me to contribute to media. Really, that is an ambition of mine, to help the cause of doing good work and making the world a better place by putting out decent, moral work that will influence others.
But I don’t know about everyone else. I don’t know if America really cares about this. From watching the trash that is on TV, I think this is an issue being overlooked and unfortunately exploited.
[And yes, I watch Gossip Girl, and yes, I understand that it is a show deserving much criticism, but I’m 23 years old and not easily influenced by what I see in the media. I’m not a tweener, they are the ones in trouble.]
books books books books books books and more books
It was quite the successful day at HP. I got two books for an additional 50% [because I went to two different stores; I am a geek like that], The Age of Innocence [Edith Wharton] and All The Pretty Horses [Cormac McCarthy], a clearance book for one whole freakin dollar, The End of the Battle [Evelyn Waugh], and a precious little two dollar copy of The Little Prince [Antone de Saint-Exupery]. Quite the successful day, indeed.
Le sigh. I still have a lot to go to get my library where I want it to be though. Le sigh.
i can't wait to have a windowsill. [and yes, windowsill is one word.] i want to stack my favorite books along it so they can be seen in pretty, romantic natural light. [and yes, i am a shameless bookworm.]
i think i'd really like having a polaroid camera. there's that whole sharpie + polaroid thing and i know i love sharpies. and it's totally in my nature to like things in the instant gratification category.
[I just convinced myself and “Polaroid Camera” was added to my wish list.]
“don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in”—Sleeping In by The Postal Service
If you could be my punk rock princess, I would be your garage band king. You can tell me why you just don’t fit in And how you’re gonna be something Punk Rock Princess, Something Corporate
Dating a lead singer of a band was interesting to say the least. I was serenaded ALLLLL the time. [I think mostly because he has a big ego and he liked me telling him that I was flattered and that he was such a good singer and he sounded just like, NO, BETTER than the singers of SoCo and TBS and Brand Nizzle… ha.]
Geez, singers in bands and their egos. Whoa, make way! Incoming!
[This song was especially memorable because it was SO cheesey, as he was in a punk rock band. AND I was so full of teenage agnst at the time, too, being a senior in HS and wanting to get the fuckkk out of Round Rock.]