it's saturday. i think i will nap. i love naps. especially on super bright sunny days such as today. [ps. where did this damn cold front and hurricane winds come from? it was in the mid 80s yesterday. hot as balls. now it's back to being in the low, frigid 60s. austin weather is so weird.]
I used to be in freakin love with Jacob Marshall of Mae. Like that kind of delusional love where you’re telling yourself stuff like, “I’m a nice girl, I’m real cute and if I could just get his attention, if he would just hang out with me it is very possible we could fall in love and I could totally be that band girlfriend and follow him around on tour and we would be inseparable and move back to Norfolk, Virginia and get married and have kids and live happily ever after,” to rationalize stalking him from city to city in your state (and if your state is Texas, that is a huge state, and three shows in four days at the very least).
Their senior album was the biggest disappointment of my life. I srsly cried a little and a piece of me died and my heart broke.
But I have resolved that I will go to a show and hope for the best. They are playing Sunday, April 26th in Houston and I am totally going, even if I have go alone. They’re playing at Walter’s on Washington and the tickets are only $12 in advance. I don’t have much to lose here. (And I have an excuse to go to Houston for the weekend to see the Darmers, which is always lots of fun and super relaxing. A little mini vacation, with a slight hope of rekindling a love for my long lost old favorite band.)
Oh man, I’m not gonna hold my breath but at least I know their old stuff is wonderful. And I get to see Jacob again.
I don’t even want to get started with how I feel about Black History Month. (Srsly, don’t get me started.)
[Ugh, but I will say that now, NOW that we have a BLACK President of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA aka THE FREE MOTHERFN WORLD I really hope they will stop complaining about slavery and blah blah blah, being held down by the man and such because now THAT MAN is a black man and people really need to get over themselves and step up and assume responsibility for their shortcomings and feelings some sort of entitlement.]
SO… tonight, in the middle of a debate this black lady (sorry if that is not politically correct enough for you, but it is what it is) comes storming in, literally, raising her hands up and saying to a group of 10 of us, “WHAT DID ANY OF YOU DO FOR BLACK HISTORY MONTH? NOTHING? WELL Y’ALL CAN LISTEN TO ME THEN. IT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO.”
And yes, srsly, that is what she said, verbatim. I remembered it vividly because it was SO outlandish.
Black History Month is a freakin joke. I am tired of being forced to learn about black history for no good reason at all. Do any Americans even know that there is an ASIAN AMERICAN HISTORY MONTH? Yeah probably not. And how often was it ever mentioned in our elementary education? Yeah, close to never, if ever at all. Ridiculous. I am seriously so annoyed.
WHY do old, bitter, single men (30-40s) think they can be all fn creepy to me and my friends!??!?!?!?!?!??! Dar got kissed on her BARE SHOULDER and I got a hand kiss that could’ve been a nice gesture had the guy not been looking at me like he was thinking of what I would look like dead in a choke hold and oh, there was Creeper McCreeperson at the door waving good-bye to us and asking why we were leaving in such a rush (it was 11pm on a school night!!!!) and without him.
Creeper McCreeperson: Where are you two going?
Dar & I: HOME.
Creeper McCreeperson: Yeah, where is that? Can I come?
WHY OH WHY OH WHY!?!??!?!?! Do people think it is OKAY to say stuff like that?!?!?! It is NOT okay. Not at all. If we were downtown (instead of hosting this party for Adeline) I’d punch you in the motherfn face for talking to me like that.
Ugh. Ew. I am so grossed out right now. I can’t even get over it. DISGUSTINGGG.
i like a&f jeans but their damn ads really piss me off. i am really tired of seeing half naked people. this is a clothing company. put on some damn clothes. the guys you pick aren't even that hot/cute. they all look totally gay and that is not going to do anything for a heterosexual female such as myself. will somebody please RETHINK the marketing strategy behind this? maybe your target will appreciate something a little more wholesome? that's just a guess. i could be completely wrong. either way, i personally want to see clothes in the ads.
“To be nobody but yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”—EE Cummings
skippity skip skip. i'm not going to children's lit today. i'm going to be way over 15 mins late and [one] i hate being late (although i am late a lot) and [two] i don't like disrupting class. not all is lost, dr. covington posts her lectures online. i will just be missing seeing some books. dammit.
[I am going to watch Mushi-shi this morning while I get ready!!! It’s like Saturday morning cartoons, except it’s not Saturday and I’m not a little kid and it’s anime instead of that weird shit that’s on TV nowadays.]
wow. i am so dyslexic sometimes. i used to think it was just a numbers thing but i suppose it has now moved to incompassing numbers as well. oh bother. [new business card coming soon. good thing it was just on a whim and not something i had printed in the thousands.] sometimes i am just kind of hopeless. but that's alright.
i am also designing a damn calendar for my office cubicle thingy. it drives me crazy that i don't have a wall calendar. i love design. i'm not super duper awesome at it... yet, but this calendar should be pretty BA.
why do i want all the Burberry trenches, and outerwear in general!?!?! why do i need a brigt red trench with cute big black buttons and a cute belt and a cute collar?!?!? why?!?!?!?! one thing is for sure, i really do NEED them. all of them. in every color under the sun. especially black, white, red, khaki, navy, yellow, and pink.
you know that feeling when you just KNOW that someone is looking at you, like their eyes are burning a hole in your back? okay, well i totally got that feeling today in my ethics lecture and when i turned around in the direction i thought it was coming from, there he was, staring at me and when i looked at him instead of turning away like a normal human being, he kept looking at me and i had to awkwardly smile like it didn't completely weird me out at that moment. okay, yeah. that totally happened today and it's just straight up strange that you can FEEL someone looking at you. it's not like wind where you feel an actual something. you can not feel a look. so that instinct, or sense, or whatever it is, is straight up strange. [and i hate it when you have to repeat the same word like i just did with "is" UGH i can't believe i did that.]
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle
This quote so resonates in me because I totally get what he is trying to say. [Yes, I know, that was in layman’s terms and completely lame, but whatev. I’m don’t feel like being all philosophical at 1225 in the morning.]
We are what we repeatedly do.
If you keep doing something that you know is bad, wouldn’t that make you a bad person? I think yes, and I think Aristotle thinks the same. If you are constantly cheating on your bf/gf then you are a cheater. If you are always lying, you are a liar.
In turn, if you keep doing nice things for people. If you keep smiling and being happy. Is that not who are you? It is.
I feel so much more [if that is possible] better and optimistic about the person I am, and the person I am trying to be with these words. I will be the first to admit that I am quite the arrogant and prideful person, but it is because I truly feel and know that I am a good person and that I try hard in respects to my life and those of people I have relationships with, be they friends or professionals.
[Even as a child I never thought that pride was a vice. I suppose in the extreme case it certainly is, but in healthy moderation it is due to those who at least have the confidence to think they deserve the word, although one would hope they have the makings to back it up. And I am comforted in knowing that Darcy and Elizabeth feel the same way as I.]
Everyone should really take these six words into consideration when examining themselves and their life and the path they are on. You truly are what you repeatedly do. I wish stupid people [and wow there are a lot of them lately, especially around me for some reason] would think about this before doing the stupid things they do. Stupids.
We totally discussed his philosophies and I love love love Aristotle.
WTF is up with Mill’s Utilitarian philosophy? The greatest good for the greatest number? Yeah, that is totally not going to work. It was quite amusing listening to people defend it. Srsly? The tyranny of the majority? Totally. Not. Going. To. Work.
It made me LOL when this boy in my class, quite intelligent actually, for a boy, said that utilitarianism is like when Hitler killed all the Jews. He thought the greatest good for the greatest number of people was for his people, not for the minority, which were the Jews. I laughed because it made everyone so quiet.
[People get so awkward and crippled by seemingly tough conversation.]
today i have been quite annoyed and frustrated and it mostly just keeps getting worse. thinking about asian-american culture (whatever that is) X history X people's ignorance X the education system's negligence just makes me really really really really angry. like, really angry.
[longer rant to follow, once I calm down a bit.]
[PS. People need to STOP getting so mad about generalizations. For example, if I say “white people go off and claim land because they think they can—oh look at this great land, here is my flag, this is my shit” I mean white people, generally speaking, not you, the white person I am talking to or you, the white person that is standing around eavesdropping. Like I have said before, stereotypes exist for a reason as do clichés, and people tend to perpetuate them, and therefore they continue to exist. If you don’t believe, do a quick life observation, you will see what I’m talking about.]
i am pretty sure that my boss created the term "string along" because it 5pm and he STILL has not talked to me about this semi-important thing called MY FREAKIN JOB!!! that i was lied to about that i am not getting paid for that i sit at all day three days a week omfgzomfgz
Vietnamese Sandwiches and Mean Girls with Sarah and maybe Lina
What is this MAYBE shit? You can NOT have Vietnamese sandwiches without me. Fn idiot. Geez. And you also can NOT do a movie-watching-dinner-thing without me either. Especially if that movie is Mean Girls [which I have not seen in forever] and also especially if it is Monday and I hate my life and want to kill someone right nowww.
I used to get them alllllllllllllllll the time in high school. Thank God I only get them every now and then and though they really really really really hurt [srsly, my head is about to explode] I can bear it quite a deal better than when I was younger, but then again, everything was SO dramatic back then. Ow.